My goals from July of 2021 through this June changed in so many ways. Looking back on what I thought would happen and what I’d hoped to accomplish and comparing it to what actually happened and what I was able to accomplish is really difficult. Few things match up and none of it truly encompasses what that time was like.
It was a lovely coincidence that the timing of reflecting on my goals and setting new ones happened around a few really big things. In the past few weeks I completely reset my office space, spent some time out writing with friends, I recommitted to my writing and worked on my revision, and actively contemplated other possibilities for the future. It made me think about my goals over the past twelve months, what I had accomplished and what I didn’t, in a different way. One of the biggest goals I thought about that, was the draft of a manuscript I completed that signaled the completion of every story idea I wanted to write into a novel. That was a goal I set out to achieve in the beginning of this whole writing journey about four years ago and knowing that I completed that vision still fills me with some really strong emotions. Originally I thought I would dive right into new writing when that goal was complete, but when I completed it last December, I didn’t feel the pull to contemplate new writing. I didn’t chase any new writing into drafts like I thought I might once that manuscript was complete and instead focused on the writing I’d already completed. I knew my stories needed more attention and I wanted to give it what I had. The revision I’m currently in is one I thought I would have finished a few months ago, but so many things like my health and another project and a general lack of motivation have really bogged that project down. Taking a moment this week to tear into a chapter where I’d been stalled helped to give me a boost into the project again and I’m excited to pull that momentum with me into this new week.
This new week is when I want to set my goals for July of 2022 through June of 2023, but it’s going to be goal setting different than what I’ve done over these past four years. I need to give myself so much more flexibility in completing my goals over those twelve months and I need to realign what my writing needs versus what my publication journey needs. I want to redouble my efforts to find representation and make traction toward publication and I need to really reassess where my energy needs to go to make that happen. There are questions I need to ask and hard conversations that I need to have with myself over what the next steps need to be. Which manuscript do I want to push for representation the most? What does that manuscript need? This new story idea that my brain started chasing and am contemplating writing for NaNoWriMo this year- is it the story to write in November? What will I have to give in November and will it be enough to write a manuscript? These are just the top layer of questions rattling around in my brain and so many more lay under the surface. My thoughts are so scrambled that it’s been hard to separate them and settle into my reflections because everything else continues to filter back in. It’s just so hard to pull everything apart right now and it was a struggle to do the reflecting this year. There isn’t a list of accomplishments or even a list of things to carry over. Everything fell into a gray area in one way or another and moving forward the future looks just as muddled as the past. It’s still important, even when there isn’t a real way to define accomplishments and struggles, to stop and reflect. I’m grateful for the work I was able to do over the past twelve months and I’m excited about the core of my writing journey that continues to fuel me moving forward. At my core of what I’m trying to accomplish is to write my stories and eventually find my way to publication. I have made progress toward that goal and no matter what my goals look like for 2022/2023, I know I will continue to make forward momentum toward that core.
In case you haven’t been told today, you are more than enough.
With you in words, Nikole